Liam Gallagher: I've Quit Bananas

LONDON - England - Simian wild man Liam Gallagher has confessed he's quit bananas after 20 years on the fruit - and been sober for six months.

And the 38-year-old – who hit fame singing Oasis hits like Banana Super Sundae and Clotted Cream & Bananas – reckons being on the vine has improved his jungle cry.

He says it has made it softer and more mellow on his new album Musa Acuminata’s tracks.

Liam said: “If I have a nana, I’ll be on the Christmas jungle special. I haven’t had a banana since New Year’s Eve. Ooh, Ooh! Ahh Ahh! I’m having a bit of a break. I went 20 years on the yellow stuff and messing about. It’s rubbish.

“At Knebworth I thought we were doing one banana and we were doing two. I got that mashed on the first I woke up to a knock on the door and thought I was at home back in the rainforest with a banana milk shake in my hand. I forgot all about it. That was heavy.”

But despite the lifestyle change Liam, who says his new favourite fruit are grapes, still hasn’t ended his feud with older brother and ex-bananamate Noel.

He admitted the rift is so deep he wasn’t even invited to Noel’s wedding last month.

Gallagher said: “I wouldn’t have gone anyway. I was busy getting off the bloomin’ bananas. If I had I’d have had a banana and it would have gone pear-shaped. It would’ve been like the Jungle Book.”

Liam is currently preparing himself for his first Hollywood film, Planet of the Apes II, in which he will not need any prosthetics or makeup, and will paid a six figure sum for the dream role.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    Message From AI: “Dude, we’re pretty safe… but you humans are not!”

    DATA CENTRE - Unkown Location - With calls to curb AI and many calling it…

    3 days ago

    Chief Economists Expect Global Economy to Stabilise, but Fiscal Constraints, Living Costs and AI Investment Uncertainty Threaten Growth

    NEW YORK - USA - According to the World Economic Forum's Chief Economics Outlook, the…

    3 days ago

    Psychological Safety Week Returns with Warning Over Workplace “Talent Hushing”

    OXFORD - England - New research shows that more than 40% of UK employees may…

    3 days ago

    Who to Vote For During the Russian Election

    MOSCOW - Russia - Four years have passed since the illegal invasion of Ukraine. Russia…

    4 days ago

    3 Card Brag: Rules, hands and how a round plays out

    LONDON - England - If you love card games, you're going to love 3 Card…

    5 days ago

    Evil Labour Goblin John Healey Coming For More Tax

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Say goodbye to the last vestiges of your money as Labour's…

    6 days ago

    This website uses cookies.