Liam Gallagher: I've Quit Bananas

LONDON - England - Simian wild man Liam Gallagher has confessed he's quit bananas after 20 years on the fruit - and been sober for six months.

And the 38-year-old – who hit fame singing Oasis hits like Banana Super Sundae and Clotted Cream & Bananas – reckons being on the vine has improved his jungle cry.

He says it has made it softer and more mellow on his new album Musa Acuminata’s tracks.

Liam said: “If I have a nana, I’ll be on the Christmas jungle special. I haven’t had a banana since New Year’s Eve. Ooh, Ooh! Ahh Ahh! I’m having a bit of a break. I went 20 years on the yellow stuff and messing about. It’s rubbish.

“At Knebworth I thought we were doing one banana and we were doing two. I got that mashed on the first I woke up to a knock on the door and thought I was at home back in the rainforest with a banana milk shake in my hand. I forgot all about it. That was heavy.”

But despite the lifestyle change Liam, who says his new favourite fruit are grapes, still hasn’t ended his feud with older brother and ex-bananamate Noel.

He admitted the rift is so deep he wasn’t even invited to Noel’s wedding last month.

Gallagher said: “I wouldn’t have gone anyway. I was busy getting off the bloomin’ bananas. If I had I’d have had a banana and it would have gone pear-shaped. It would’ve been like the Jungle Book.”

Liam is currently preparing himself for his first Hollywood film, Planet of the Apes II, in which he will not need any prosthetics or makeup, and will paid a six figure sum for the dream role.

Do you value freedom?

SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB We fight for freedom, justice, satire and coffee.
  • First they came for the Satirists
  • And I did not speak out
  • Then they came for the...
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    Homeless Fergie Found Under Waterloo Bridge

    LONDON - England - Yes, you guessed correctly. It's under Waterloo Bridge for the former…

    1 day ago

    Prince Andrew: “Why is it just the Brits in the Epstein files?”

    DUBAI - UAE - Prince Andrew decries why the Epstein files mainly focus on the…

    1 day ago

    Why I had to dump the “Jonah” Commissar Reeves from the China begging trip

    BEIJING - China - Comrade Starmer explains why he dumped "Jonah" Commissar Reeves from the…

    3 days ago

    Comrade Starmer Visiting Communist Comrades in China

    BEIJING - China - Comrade Starmer is on a visit to the communist country as…

    5 days ago

    Open Borders Socialist Spain Fast Tracks Half a Million Illegal Migrants Coming to UK

    MADRID - Spain - The far-leftist socialist government has fast-tracked citizenship for over half a…

    5 days ago

    Socialist Tory Party Disgusted as Conservative Defects to Brigand Bandit Group

    LONDON - England - Comrade Badenoch of the Socialist Tory Party is very angry that…

    6 days ago

    This website uses cookies.