Celebrity Online Apologies Up by 35% Since September

Online apologies by celebrities and politicians were up by a staggering 35% since September the Office of Internet Statistics has revealed.

“We’re getting more snivelling celebrities and even some former politicians making these grovelling internet apologies after they’ve made a faux pas on some social network site or been recorded by a member of the public on their mobile phone or been caught evading tax. Unfortunately, with the advent of social sites like twitter and facebook, the general public has had to endure some of the inane rantings of celebrities who feel the need to voice their opinion,” Niles Gruberstein, an analyst and chief researcher at the OIS revealed.

PR agency, Benoire Mathers Liorres have given some of their celebrities advice on dealing with certain sections of social media and the more traditional media: “We advise our celebrity clients to get off all social media. If they value their celebrity status, even F rated celebrities have no business on there. It simply confirms to the public that these celebrities are vacuous morons addicted to faux adulation and greed. Just get off. If you need to make an announcement get about thirty people to read it before it is released because many of these celebrities are incapable of the intricacies of dealing with the public. Additionally, do not apologise. I never saw a good politician apologise for anything, and celebrities should follow that lead. Always deny, deny, deny, even if you’re caught red handed. Politicians get away with that technique all the time. That’s what I advise my clients to do.”