Kim Kardashian Protects Ferguson Protesters — With Her Butt

TMZ reports that Kim Kardashian was at the Ferguson riots the other night and protected hundreds of protesters with her buttocks.

“The tear gas cannisters were coming over the top, then whoom, a big umbrella thang went over us. First we didn’t know what it was, but we found out it was Kim Kardashian’s butt, and she was catchin’ those cannisters in her ass crack. When they piled up, all she had to do was clench her cheeks and the cannisters flew back to the police. We was cheerin’ and pattin’ that thang like it was our saviour,” Krupp Johnsons, a protester on South Florissant, Ferguson revealed.

Ferguson police chief, Enos Strate, warned Kardashian to stop shielding the rioters: “One thing fer shure, good thang she didn’t eat no beans that night, coulda ignited them gases into a big ol’ explosion.”

The Kardashians, who only date African Americans, are great supporters of the civil rights movement and Kim’s panties have now been interned in the African American Museum of Heritage in South Central Los Angeles.