Cricketers to Get New Helmets

SIDNEY - Australia - It's a dangerous game that cricket, you may think standing around the crease all day waiting for a bowler to throw something at 120 mph at your skull is boring but that sort of thing can kill.

 

 

Gone are the genteel days of cucumber sandwiches and the odd half arsed swing, these days bowlers are trained to deliver balls to batsmen with almost bionic strength and speed.

“It’s not like the old days. They used to call cricket the gentleman’s game, now if you get away with a fractured skull and mild brain damage you’re lucky. It’s vicious out there, especially us Aussies. Bodyline? That was sissy stuff, now we can get bowlers to bounce the ball directly into your frontal neocortex. Howzat for precision?” an Australian cricket commentator revealed on Thursday.

The new kevlar reinforced steel helmets will be issued in June 2015 for the Australian Cricket Federation. Coming in at 77 kgs, the helmets are resistant to 9mm bullets and may even save cricketers lives.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by

Recent Posts

Stormy Daniels Trump Hump Dump in Court Extravaganza

NEW YORK - USA - Adult film star Stormy Daniels went into intricate detail about…

18 hours ago

Gen Z Woman Demands Millennials Stop Saying These ‘Out of Date’ Slang Words

PHILADELPHIA - USA - Gen Z woman demands millennials stop saying these 'out of date…

2 days ago

Fans Wonder Why Kim Kardashian Only Travels in a Stretch Limousine?

LOS ANGELES - USA - Fans of porn celebrity Kim Kardashian have been wondering why…

3 days ago

Why Unelected Autocrat Rishi Sunak Was Instated into Office

LONDON - England - Here are some reasons why unelected autocrat Rishi Sunak was instated…

3 days ago

See How Chinese “Belt and Road Initiative” Works in Africa

NAIROBI - Kenya - China's PRC "Belt and Road Initiative" BRI is a brutal exploitative…

4 days ago

London Has Fallen!

LONDON - England - Sadiq Khan has won a third term as Mayor. London Has…

4 days ago

This website uses cookies.