Chloe Madeley: Twitter Troll From Somewhere in South East Asia to Get Two Years Prison if Found

LONDON - England - Interpol, the FBI, CIA, NSA, and the Metropolitan police force are searching the whole of South East Asia today after it was discovered that a twitter troll from that area said some nasties to Chloe Madeley.

 

Dubbed Chloe’s Law, anyone who says anything nasty on twitter that a celebrity does not like can now be prosecuted and jailed for two years.

“Forget about Ebola, Isis, or World War III, we’re dispatching all our resources to comb the whole of South East Asia to find this twitter troll so they can spend some years in jail,” DCI Lenny Tattletale, for the Metropolitan police told the BBC.

Finding the twitter trolls is also now the first priority of David Cameron’s government, and the PM consulted a top secret COBRA task force to seek out the twitter troll who is residing somewhere in South East Asia, although the odious person could be moving around making the task even harder.

“It’s like trying to find a needle in a giant haystack. But this is really important, innit,” an NSA operative said on Sunday.

The cost of the whole operation will be in excess of £2.6 billion all paid for by the taxpayer no doubt.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by
    Tags: celebrityuk

    Recent Posts

    “I WILL CARRY ON! CHAOS! I WILL CARRY ON! CHAOS! CHAOSSSSS!”

    PLANET SCUNTHORPE - KEIR DAVROS HAS MADE A DEFIANT SPEECH IN DEFENCE OF HIS RULE.

    20 hours ago

    Artificial Intelligence Emerging as a Key Competitive Advantage in Cybersecurity, New Report Finds

    GENEVA - Switzerland - Artificial intelligence is transforming the cybersecurity landscape at an unprecedented pace…

    3 days ago

    Comical Starmer Reassures Labour Party After Election Drubbing

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Comical Starmer has reassured Labour Party members that everything is okay…

    4 days ago

    LOCAL ELECTION RESULTS: “Comrades, everything is okay. Nothing has changed!”

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Comrade Starmer is defiant despite massive Labour Party losses with the…

    5 days ago

    VOTE LABOUR: “Comrades, today I am ordering you to vote for Labour”

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Supreme Comrade Starmer is ordering all citizens of the People's Republic…

    6 days ago

    We’re Giving Away 1,000 FREE Tickets on an EXCLUSIVE Hantavirus Cruise

    SOUTHAMPTON - England - The Daily Squib is giving away 1,000 free tickets on an…

    1 week ago

    This website uses cookies.