Salmond Reveals Scottish Currency

“Aye, we’ve finally cracked it. Forget the poond sterling, or the euro, looky what we got here,” Salmond said pointing to a counter decked out with deep fried mars bars in batter.

The new currency will be used in different denominations, for example, one very large battered mars bar would be worth four battered mars bars. There are also smaller battered mars bars which could be used for smaller purchases.

“You’se can go in a shop noo and buy a deep fried battered mars bar with a deep fried battered mars bar. But don’t forget, if you’re holding a load of battered mars bars, you might actually get battered by someone and your stash stolen. Remember to keep your new Scottish currency safe, maybe in your stomach,” Angus McFenster, the newly appointed Chancellor and Treasurer of Scotland told local news stations today.