Twitter IPO Billionaire Just Wants to Buy Bird Feed

Speaking from a park in down town San Francisco the new Twitter IPO  billionaire was anxious to buy as much bird seed as he could.

“Can you imagine the amount of bird feed I could get? We can get bucket loads of it and feed all the birds in the world. No bird will ever go hungry again. I want to give something back to the birds, hell if it wasn’t for a little tweety bird, I would never have made all this money.”

There is only one minor drawback to overfeeding all those birds, and that’s the corrosive white stuff ejaculated out of their bird bottoms all over the place.

City officials are weary about the billion dollar bird feeding scheme proposed by the Twitter billionaire.

“We have enough crap over the streets anyway, we certainly don’t want any more in the way of bird poop. That many birds would make our cities into a white bird poop soup,” Dana Claritas, a city street maintenance official told the Frisky Echo newspaper.