Gordon Brown Wants to Buy Gold

LONDON - England - Gordon Brown plans on buying back Britain's gold reserves, the Chancellor of the Exchequer has claimed.

Alistair Darling has been ordered by PM Gordon Brown to buy some gold for Britain’s depleted reserves.

“I have been ordered to buy back the gold that Brown sold off a few years ago. He sold Britain’s gold reserves at the bottom of the market, and since then it has appreciated by over 1000%. Well, in keeping with his exemplary economic record, he wants to buy the gold back at it’s current price. Now, I was just mulling this around my head, but, er, does that mean he has made a huge loss of billions of pounds of Britain’s wealth? Jings, maybe I should phone him tomorrow and tell him.”

The Bank of England, which was bypassed by Brown during the massive loss making gold sell off, was yesterday silent on the matter of this most recent folly by the reverse-Midas-touch PM.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by
    Tags: gordon brown

    Recent Posts

    “I WILL CARRY ON! CHAOS! I WILL CARRY ON! CHAOS! CHAOSSSSS!”

    PLANET SCUNTHORPE - KEIR DAVROS HAS MADE A DEFIANT SPEECH IN DEFENCE OF HIS RULE.

    10 hours ago

    Artificial Intelligence Emerging as a Key Competitive Advantage in Cybersecurity, New Report Finds

    GENEVA - Switzerland - Artificial intelligence is transforming the cybersecurity landscape at an unprecedented pace…

    2 days ago

    Comical Starmer Reassures Labour Party After Election Drubbing

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Comical Starmer has reassured Labour Party members that everything is okay…

    4 days ago

    LOCAL ELECTION RESULTS: “Comrades, everything is okay. Nothing has changed!”

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Comrade Starmer is defiant despite massive Labour Party losses with the…

    4 days ago

    VOTE LABOUR: “Comrades, today I am ordering you to vote for Labour”

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Supreme Comrade Starmer is ordering all citizens of the People's Republic…

    5 days ago

    We’re Giving Away 1,000 FREE Tickets on an EXCLUSIVE Hantavirus Cruise

    SOUTHAMPTON - England - The Daily Squib is giving away 1,000 free tickets on an…

    1 week ago

    This website uses cookies.