Finally: Obama Reveals His US Foreign Policy

“It’s very simple, I bend over and take everything in my ass,” a jubilant Obama revealed from one of the White House’s many toilets.

Speaking to media groups from his palatial toilet office, Obama has shown strength in his US foreign policy and many gains.

“We lost Iraq, we lost Ukraine, we lost Afghanistan, we let Ebola in, and we lost control of US borders, we lost the support of important strategic allies like Turkey and Israel, we lost the support of our own people by spying on them, we lost the economy through uncontrolled spending on my useless pet projects. It’s been great, now excuse me while I spread these cheeks further, ooooooph!” the president said with a strangely pleasured look on his grinning face.

Maybe now is the time to take a bite of impeach, but with so many cowards running around as of late, not a bent over Obama butt chance.