Iraq: Mission Accomplished

“Under our watch millions of Iraqis died and a few of our troops were killed too. We caused a humanitarian disaster zone, destabilised the Middle East further, precipitated a global recession and radicalised millions of formerly peaceful Muslims. I’m proud to have been part of the murder, and I would like to thank my colleague in crime Dubya for such great teamwork,” Tony Blair said from the steps of the court.

Bush replied: “Yo Tony, it has been an honour knowing you, and I have very fond memories of our time together killing all those sand ni**ers. I tell ya, I was speaking with God last night and a strange thing happened to me, I started to smell sulphur. I said God, and he said ‘You’re gonna meet me down there one day son, I’m sharpening my pitchfork just for you George’ ‘holy shit!’ I said, I need to paint another picture…this Mission Accomplished stuff just gave me an idea for my next masterpiece.”