Donald Christ to Walk Across Strait of Hormuz on Friday

The returned Christian Messiah, Donald Christ, has announced that just like Jesus Christ, he will walk across the Strait of Hormuz to show the world that he really is the son of God.

Writing on Truth Social, Donald Christ wants to show the world the superpowers he possesses and to bring peace to the world once and for all.

“The other day I was turning two pieces of bread into 5,000 tacos to feed some White House staffers. Jeez, they loved those tacos. One guy came up to me, a little Hispanic dude; I think his name was Rubio. Anyway, he anointed me as the Taco Chief in Charge… the Taco Messiah. You know what I did? I gave him another taco.

“Then JD came up to me. He suggested that I solve the Iranian mess by doing some Donald Christ walking over the Strait of Hormuz shit to show the world and the Iranians how to quit the war, even though we attacked them first. The price of oil should drop like a rock, but I’ll tell my friends just before I do it so that they can short it.

“Anyways folks. Watch out for Friday just after the markets close. You’ll see me doing the Donald Jesus walk across the Strait of Hormuz. It’s not quite the Sea of Galilee, but it’s going to be livestreamed all over the world. I might even catch a fish, or an Iranian mine!”