Each Epstein File Redaction or Omission Costs Revealed

The heavily redacted and partial delivery of the Epstein files has come at a great cost, according to an observer of the entire sorry situation.

Graham Bellend, 43, an investigator from Washington, has revealed that many of the people implicated by the Epstein Files have paid a heavy monetary price to cover their names and their activities during their sojourns with Epstein.

“Look at it this way, folks… each of those black lines costs maybe a million bucks. I’ve seen entire pages with blacked-out blocks. We also have tonnes of missing pages and folder upon folder of missing stuff. Omissions would cost more than a million bucks apiece plus other conditions. It’s just not money as well; we’re probably talking favours, business deals, etc.”

According to Mr Bellend’s theories, a price list of options is first delivered to each individual who is implicated. After the money is transferred, the paid columns are redacted by one of the lackeys of the operation.

• 1-line blackout = $1 million
• Buy 2 lines blacked out for $2 million, get 1 line blacked out for half price.
• 1 page omission costs $50 million
• 1 entire folder omission costs $500 million

So, why is it only British people who have been implicated in the Epstein Files?

Mr Bellend’s theory also covers this subject.

“Well, the Brits are far away; plus, no one gives a flying shit about them, so they’re not given the price list. Who wants a trail going across the goddamn Atlantic anyway? Europeans and Limeys are easy targets, and they detract from us. It’s like a distraction technique. Look at that chump, Andrew. We call him the Fall Guy. That dude is dumber than a sack of potatoes; he is so fucking stupid he probably still does not realise how fucked he is.”