World

My Job Tax Policies Have Increased Unemployment by 4.6%

SCUNTHORPE - England - Commissar Reeves has happily announced the good news that unemployment is up by 4.6% thanks to her punitive job taxes.

Comrades, today I announce more wonderful news about the economy. Because of my punitive job taxes on Soviet British businesses, unemployment is up by a walloping 4.6%. How good is that?

Not only are businesses dumping staff, but they are not hiring any more, and it’s all because of my “growth” policies. You see, I’m growing the unemployment level.

The lovely people at the ONS have also released figures that job vacancies fell by 63,000 — the lowest since April 2021. This is a great sign that the vile capitalist remnants of the People’s Republic of Soviet Britain are dying a slow, protracted death thanks to my anti-business policies.

The wealthy have all left the PRSB, as well, so there will never be any trickle-down economics in this country ever again.

Our interest payments on Soviet Britain’s debt are also on the up at £4.3 billion per month. Comrades, it’s okay though, I will be borrowing more so that our debt levels increase further. I’m good with numbers. 2+2=3

Hope to bring you more great news next week, ta ra for now and fuck off to the back of the unemployment queue.

INGSOC NOTICE 90377323-A9880-010111010-5U6K-T1T5-69-XX3

RONALD BUMBLENIPPOLES, 12, OF MICHAEL FOOT AVENUE, GRIMTHORPE, SECTOR 54, HAS BEEN AWARDED A BOX OF USED TOILET PAPER AND A BAG OF USED CONDOMS, ALONG WITH 0.034 GRAMS INCREASE IN BUTTER RATIONS. LAST TUESDAY HE REPORTED HIS BROTHER, SISTER, MOTHER, FATHER, GRANDFATHER AND UNCLE FOR CURSING THE NAME OF COMMISSAR REEVES WHEN THEY ALL LOST THEIR JOBS BECAUSE OF THE PUNITIVE JOB TAXES CREATED TO GROW THE ECONOMY. THEY WERE ALL LIQUIDATED AT GRIMSBY NET ZERO PROCESSING CENTRE 3LX ON WEDNESDAY MORNING. REMEMBER COMRADES, LOOK, LISTEN, REPORT!