We Review Some of the Thousands of Kurdish Barber Shops on the High Street

We’re in Croydon first and in this small stretch of road there are over 73 Kurdish barber shops. We choose one shop at random amongst the many. They’re not actually Turkish barber shops as is the misnomer, these are all run by Kurdish drug smuggler gangs and gangsters, so as we enter the first establishment, a hush comes over the place.

“Excuse me, we are about to conduct a drug deal here. I am expecting 8.4 kilos of pure uncut heroin from my Kurdish supplier,” the Kurdish barber reveals. He then gestures me to wait in the waiting area before my hair cut.

Laws are so lax in the UK that the Kurds are having a field day with this drug dealing and money laundering stuff. The best part is that they’re labelling their shops as Turkish barbers, thus tainting the reputation of a country they hate with vehemence.

“That’s the best part of this money making operation. We don’t pay taxes, or we pay the minimal amount just to let the British scum think we are legitimate, then because of the bad reputation we create, we blame the donkey Turks, who we hate, hate, hate!” the Kurdish drug dealer/barber explained spitting a grotesque greenie onto his own shop floor.

Some Kurdish barbers are making in excess of £180,000 a week from their fake Turkish barber shops, and they funnel the dirty money through the legitimate businesses, thus cleaning the cash.

At that moment, a blacked car screeches to a stop in front of the shop and a Kurdish man walks out in a tracksuit. He hands the Kurdish barber a large bag of brownish powder, then disappears as quickly as he arrived.

“I will sell this later on tonight to some Albanians. Street value uncut £230,000, and when they cut it, they can sell for nearly triple at £600k plus. This is just one day. I make so much money here in UK, it is a beautiful place. I came here only last year across the Channel in a boat. I say I am Kurdish, which I am and how we are treated badly in Turkey by the pig Turks, and they immediately opened the door for me. No ID, nothing. I grew up in Kurdistan and have never been to Turkey, but what are they going to know? Four-star hotels, money to spend, food, hospital, I even pay for prostitutes all the time, all paid for by UK government. Thank you, you British donkeys. Thank you!”

“If you don’t like your haircut, I’ll slit your throat and make your body disappear.”

It’s time to move to the next barber shop. This Kurdish barber seems set for life. He charges me £26.70 for the trim on the sides, then pockets the cash immediately. It’s obvious HMRC is going to see very little of that money.

Stay tuned for more Kurdish barber shops next week …