URGENT ORDER: “Business in Soviet Britain Forbidden From Making Profits”

Comrades, Bolsheviks, Council bosses, train drivers, Stasi Twitter Police, Union bosses, Civil servants of Soviet Britain. Comrade Rachel Reeves of the People’s Republic of Soviet Britain today addressed members of the business community at the CBI after kicking the imbecile un-Soviet CBI Chief executive Rain Newton-Smith off the stage, where she was frog marched to an awaiting Stasi Un-Free Speech Unit where she will be cancelled and erased from existence by order of STASI-65233900-UK-A3433.

“Comrades, all businesses in the People’s Republic of Soviet Britain are hereby ordered to not make a profit.

“You will all still be required to pay vast amounts of tax, though, and if you don’t, we will enter your bank accounts and take what is owed anyway.

“You will be monitored at all times and your accounts will be seized if we see any form of profit from your business.

“Profit is a symptom of capitalism. It is therefore to be stamped out at all costs in Soviet Britain. We will not have any business challenging my anti-business budget, which was created to ruin the Soviet British economy and to redistribute wealth through collectivisation.

“We will intern any business boss who seeks to profit from their business in Soviet Britain, and we will cancel them with immediate effect.

“Thank you for listening to my orders. Take them away!”

<Out of the sidelines, a troop of Soviet British Stasi Police emerged with truncheons, beating and herding the assembled CBI business people and kulaks out of the conference centre.>

SUPER DOUBLE PLUS LABOUR ANNOUNCEMENT

BY ORDER OF PEOPLE’S REPUBLIC OF SOVIET BRITAIN — COMRADE RACHEL REEVES — CHOCO RATIONS HAVE BEEN REDUCED BY 50 GRAMS PER ANNUM FOR ALL PROLES APART FROM LABOUR HIGH PARTY OFFICIALS, TRAIN DRIVERS, NHS MANAGERS, BIG STATE CIVIL SERVANTS, UNION AND COUNCIL BOSSES. IT WILL BE REPLACED BY TWO POTATOES AND A TURNIP. INGSOC – 349872-A-763392OP