Man Distraught After Expecting Billions in Slave Reparations

Winston Smith, 26, from Brixton, South London was distraught today as he was expecting slave reparations’ money from the British government for African slavery over 600 years ago.

Mr. Smith, an unemployed drug dealer on benefits from Brixton, voiced his displeasure that Labour prime minister Keir Starmer had ruled out paying £18 trillion to all black people in the UK for the historical slave trade where African tribes sold their slaves to Europeans hundreds of years ago.

“Bumba clot! Mi did ah deh wait fah £23 billian miself yannah. Mandem, dis cheddar owed tuh mi bikaaz mi waah fi liv ah life mi deserve. Mi even gaan an order ah Lamborghini fram Italy evn dou mi cud nah afford di dep.”

A Downing Street spokesperson said: “Reparation’s not on the agenda for the Chogm meeting.”

“The Government’s position on this has not changed, we do not pay reparations.”

Throughout history, every race has been at some time subjected to slavery, including Caucasians, Asians and Middle Eastern people. Going back in history and picking things out, claiming reparation payments is not only illogical but wrong in all aspects.

Black people in the West are some of the most privileged and entitled communities, given heaps of financial payments and special opportunities from governments, as well as afforded advantageous preferential treatment in schools and jobs through ‘affirmative action’ irrespective of their abilities in order to fill ‘diversity quotas’.