5 Great Ideas on How to Deal With Illegal Migrants

Seeing as the ECHR, an EU court, controls Britain even after the so-called Brexit that never happened. The UK government has no control over their own fucking borders, so what to do? We present 5 great ideas that could solve the problem of illegal migrants crossing the Channel helped by the French navy and human traffickers to come to the UK.

5 Great Ideas to Solve the Illegal Migrant Problem

1. Forget about sending migrants to Rwanda, send them to Scotland. Put them all in some Glasgow sink estate where the heroin runs like water and no one gets to see the sun 11 months of the year and the life expectancy is 23.
2. Get an offshore barge and put a few of them in there. (oh, they’ve done that already)
3. If you can’t send them to Rwanda, how about the moon? Establish an off world prison colony on the moon. Yes, this would come at immense cost, but the ECHR cannot overrule it.
4. Send them back to France. Simply put the illegal migrants into a ship, sail it to France, dock, let the illegal migrants off, then leave. The UK can build a flotilla of craft to do this day in, day out.
5. Torture them for days on end until they agree to return to France. This would be done by putting them in a dark room where they will be strapped into a chair, and their eyes will be forced open to watch endless re-runs of the Harry and Meghan Netflix series. After 24 hours of that shite, they will be begging to go back to France.
6. BONUS — Solve Britain’s economic problems by using the millions of illegal migrants as forced unpaid workers. Whether it is manufacturing widgets in some Northern factory or assembly line work in Grimsby, why not harness the illegal migrant force for profit? The government could also hire out the workers to companies who would pay the government a reasonable amount for the nearly free labour. Britain could become the next China or Taiwan in manufacturing, catapulting its economy to the stratosphere.