World

EU Zealot Donald Tusk Comes Out of Hiding to Sink Poland

KRAKOW - Poland - EU zealot Donald Tusk is back, this time he is bullying his own people to stay in the EU.

Just when you thought it was safe to look up again, out pops EU Commissar Tusk, formerly the president of the European Council. As bullying EU Rottweilers go, Donald Tusk was at the top of the pile during the prolonged and arduous Brexit procedure. He was there heckling Brits alongside Verhofstadt, grinning inanely with his toothy ugly gap-toothed smile.

Tusk’s new task is to make sure that Poland does not break away from the shackles of the EU and that he somehow becomes their new Prime Minister. The EU jail-keepers are very worried that another country may dare to break free from the pseudo fascistic soviet EU.

“Ve vill not haven ein new Brexit. Ve invaded Poland on 1st September 1939 unt since then it has been part of ein EU (Fourth Reich). Ve are certain EU-Obersturmbannführer Tusk vill do very vell. Halt! Your papers are not in order!” an unelected member of the EU Commission told the bloc’s Euro News channel.

It is now a certainty that Poland is well and truly fucked as the EU digs in with its claws. Remember, there is no escape from Colditz EU, the Britishers tried to do it, but they are still part of the ECHR and ECJ who dictate everything to the silly Brits who dare not make any laws for themselves.

When Labour wins the next election, Keir Starmer will surely liaise with Donald Tusk and all the other unelected EU officials to bring further EU integration back into the frame. It will be less than a year before Brexit will be a distant memory only spoken of in jest.

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