Putin: “There is Nothing to See Here”

Supreme Russian leader Vladimir Putin has made an address to the Russian people about the Wagner Group army of mercenaries and convicts marching towards Moscow to hang him.

“There is nothing to see here, folks. The Russian army and people are totally behind me for sending their men to certain death in the meat grinder of Ukraine. While Wagner boss, Yevgeny Prigozhin has been visiting the graves of those who gave their lives needlessly for nothing, and garnering respect with the people, military and FSB hierarchy, I have done nothing apart from hide away in my bunker counting the billions of dollars I have stolen from the Russian people and economy. When the Wagner Group march into the Kremlin and everyone applauds them, I will be whisked away to an undisclosed location, or maybe they will put me out of my misery seeing as I have ruined Russia with my insane tinpot invasions of other sovereign territory.”

Behind the scenes, many operatives in the FSB are standing down, as is the Russian army as the Wagner group convoy readies for a Moscow move.

The cure it seems is worse than the medicine, as one nutter seeks to take over from another nutter.

We can only dream of Putin’s Armani suited body swinging from a rope over Red Square, whether the dream materialises or not, the delightful thought is still thoroughly pleasing.