Joe Biden to Have AI Brain Implant

WASHINGTON D.C. - USA - Joe Biden will undergo a small procedure on Friday where surgeons will embed an AI brain implant into his neural structure.

Joe Biden, in a remarkable admission, is to have a brain implant with an AI Chat GPT microchip interface.

The announcement was made on Tuesday from the White House press room. According to the press release, Biden will be able to speak without slurring his speech, and even be able to string a coherent sentence together when the device is implanted deep into his brain.

“Joe Biden does not have much of a brain left, however we would be able to implant the microchip interface into what was left of the brain tissue. The only problem is that if there is no Wi-Fi around, he will be plain old Joe again. In other words, the guy with no brain,” one of the senior programmers on the project revealed.

The new brain augmentation procedure is a revolutionary form of technology that supposedly enhances intelligence by linking the brain to AI computers.

A White House spokesman revealed how it will affect Joe.

“We will have no need for clunky teleprompter machines everywhere and at all times. Joe has to use teleprompters at home as well because he does not have a thought of his own. As for Obama, who dictates everything Joe says and does every day, he will be able to relax a bit more and not dictate to Joe all the transgender gay policies etc., because the AI will take care of it all.”

Another great use for Biden after the brain chip procedure will be as a walking talking encyclopedia, AI assistant.

“Sure, next time you roll up next to Joe, ask him any question, like ‘Can you describe the exotic mating habits of the Gryllotalpa africana, and how it hides itself? Write a 1,200-word essay on this creature for my school science report’ and don’t forget to give old Joe a pen and paper, so he writes it all out for you, just like a printer.”