Sunak Advises Plundered British Army to Throw Stones at Advancing Russians

Decades of neglect and plundering of Ministry of Defence budgets has left the British Army floundering. No bullets, no missiles, and a limited force with low morale, Britain’s once proud forces were stripped dry by the likes of David Cameron and Theresa May. As for Rishi Sunak, and his miserly Chancellor, the MoD are still under attack from their own government with measly piffling budgets that do not stand a chance in any war situation.

“This is why I am today advising Britain’s forces to throw stones at any threat attacking Britain. We can’t afford bullets but there are plenty of stones about. When the Russians attack with their bullets and missiles, we will have stones to defend ourselves with. Rest assured, the Chancellor and I will be far behind the front lines cheering our forces on.”

Stones and other objects can be thrown from quite a distance. There are also plenty of sticks that can be used, mainly found in forests. Sometimes if a stick is sharpened, it can even be used as a weapon to defend from the advancing crazed Russian heavily armed amphetamine drugged soldiers.