Cancel Culture Vultures Circling Over Socialist Darling Guardian Newspaper

LONDON - England - Oh dear! The Guardian Newspaper was founded by slave owning cotton plantation masters.

The shamed owners of the far-left Marxist mega-woke Guardian newspaper have decided to cancel their newspaper next week after realising the founder was a slave owner.

The originator of the institutionally racist Grauniad was John Edward Taylor, (11 September 1791 – 6 January 1844). He was the founder of the Manchester Guardian newspaper in 1821, which was renamed in 1959 The Guardian.

Off to the Guardian Cotton Plantation

“It’s not just the interns who are slaves at the Guardian, we have discovered that John Edward Taylor, our founder, was also a slave owner. Imagine the shame we felt as our all-white woke press room had to come to terms with this fact,” slave master, sub-editor, Paul Whipper revealed on Tuesday.

The Guardian even sided with the slave-owning Southern states, the Confederacy, against Abraham Lincoln and the North in the American Civil War. The paper loathed Lincoln and made no secret of it.

“It was an evil day both for America and the world when he was chosen President of the United States,” the Guardian newspaper wrote in 1862.

“Shame!”

Initially, senior Guardian staff tried to cover up the links to slavery, but eventually the utter shame was too much, and they capitulated to their white guilt.

On Monday, the Guardian even changed its begging for money plea to socialist readers found on every page online:

“We’re not funded by billionaires. We were once funded by a slave owner and cotton plantations, though. Please help us come to terms with this shame by giving us more money.”

The Daily Squib conducted a similar investigation into its founder, Francis Wellesley, the 6th Duke of Pembroke, who created our newspaper in 1862. Luckily, there were no links to slavery, apart from a harem of willing ladies of the night he kept at a boarding house in Chichester which he would visit occasionally until he caught a bad case of the clap one year.

As for the Guardian, its days are now numbered as the cancel culture vultures circle its slave loving socialist corpse.