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Desperate Democrats Put Slice of Baloney as Top Choice for 2024 White House Run Against Trump

SACRAMENTO - USA - Desperate Democrats are vouching for a piece of baloney to run against Donald Trump in 2024, a recent poll amongst voters has revealed.

A piece of baloney is the top choice among Democrats for a 2024 White House run, new polling shows.

Exclusive polling for CNN by the Washington-based Democrat Institute of likely Democratic voters found 64 percent say the party should opt for a piece of baloney candidate at the next presidential election in two years.

And the piece of baloney, selected from an Italian trattoria in California, came first in a list of potential runners with 27 percent from the 525 Democrats in the poll of 1,500 likely voters.

A piece of lettuce was second with 25 percent.

In joint third with 20 percent was an eggplant.

An old grizzled piece of sliced turkey, trailed behind on eight percent.

Arnie Arbunkle, 48, from San Francisco revealed why he wants baloney to run in 2024.

“We gotta piece of baloney in charge now, what’s up with getting another piece of baloney in 2024? Makes no difference. Baloney is fuckin’ great man, a little mayo, some lettuce, and a tomato. All you need is a piece of fuckin’ bread! Badda bing!”

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