World

Britons Fight Against Lower Taxes

LONDON - England - The British economy and people rebelled against the dire threat of lower taxes.

How dare you have lower taxes in Britain. This is an absolute outrage, and something that has never been witnessed in all of British history.

“We will fight any form of tax cut in Britain because it is simply against our nature. I am disgusted at these people who actually want to grow the economy by reducing taxes and making things easier for people,” one outraged fellow revealed, shouting in the streets of London.

The Bank of England immediately increased interest rates because the government had dared to cut taxation.

BoE boss, Rupert Idiote, was furious about the entire debacle and was now out to punish not only the ‘growth economy’ but ordinary people by increasing interest rates again.

“This is an absolute outrage. Lower taxes for people and businesses? By Jove, we shall increase interest rates so far up their mortgaged arses they will be shitting bricks. See how you like that fuckers? My bosses in Brussels would not like lower taxes in the UK.”

Such was the vitriol and market reaction by the morons in the City to lower taxation that the entire UK economy went up in flames.

The pound sank, the interest rates rose and the flames of anger exploded around everywhere.

Never lower taxes. The British are simply not used to such things. It’s back to high tax misery for you bastards. For gawd’s sake, keep on increasing taxes so that everyone is happy with their wretched lives again.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by
    Tags: economytaxuk

    Recent Posts

    “I WILL CARRY ON! CHAOS! I WILL CARRY ON! CHAOS! CHAOSSSSS!”

    PLANET SCUNTHORPE - KEIR DAVROS HAS MADE A DEFIANT SPEECH IN DEFENCE OF HIS RULE.

    19 hours ago

    Artificial Intelligence Emerging as a Key Competitive Advantage in Cybersecurity, New Report Finds

    GENEVA - Switzerland - Artificial intelligence is transforming the cybersecurity landscape at an unprecedented pace…

    3 days ago

    Comical Starmer Reassures Labour Party After Election Drubbing

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Comical Starmer has reassured Labour Party members that everything is okay…

    4 days ago

    LOCAL ELECTION RESULTS: “Comrades, everything is okay. Nothing has changed!”

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Comrade Starmer is defiant despite massive Labour Party losses with the…

    5 days ago

    VOTE LABOUR: “Comrades, today I am ordering you to vote for Labour”

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Supreme Comrade Starmer is ordering all citizens of the People's Republic…

    6 days ago

    We’re Giving Away 1,000 FREE Tickets on an EXCLUSIVE Hantavirus Cruise

    SOUTHAMPTON - England - The Daily Squib is giving away 1,000 free tickets on an…

    1 week ago

    This website uses cookies.