Dear Squibbers, wherever you are, even if you’re on your hols. We have another assortment of Beyond Satire articles dug up from the depths of the internet(s) for you. Sit back on your lounge chair, pour another Sloe gin and read up.

Top scientist admits ‘space telescope image’ was actually a slice of chorizo

A French scientist has apologized after tweeting a photo of a slice of chorizo, claiming it was an image of a distant star taken by the James Webb Space Telescope.

Kudos to Étienne Klein, a celebrated physicist and director at France’s Alternative Energies and Atomic Energy Commission, who shared the image of the spicy Spanish sausage on Twitter last week, praising the “level of detail” it provided.

“Picture of Proxima Centauri, the nearest star to the Sun, located 4.2 light years away from us. It was taken by the James Webb Space Telescope. This level of detail… A new world is unveiled every day,” he told his more than 91,000 followers on Sunday.

Thousands of Twitterers in all their glory replied to the physicist’s post, praising the amazing imagery and discovery. When he revealed the image was in fact a slice of chorizo sausage, the usual outrage was displayed at being fooled so easily.

Just goes to show how easily the masses can and are daily fooled by authority or the authorities.

Father, 32, is jailed for 19 years for defending his property

On a more serious note, via the Daily Mail, this story reflects the disparity between the UK and US regarding the right to defend your property, self, and family.

In the UK you get 19 years in a prison for dispatching an invader who could have been armed and dangerous, whereas in the US, the police and courts would be on the side of the victim.

Obviously, an Englishman’s castle is not fit for purpose anymore.

Just let them all into your home to take what they want and do as they please and ask no questions. Defend yourself? Go to prison.

Twitter allows hardcore pornography, paedophiles, terrorists to post without any warnings yet restricts and labels our site as offensive

Along with freely allowing the Taliban, and members of Hamas to post whatever they want on Twitter. Hardcore pornography and posts from paedophiles are freely distributed across the social media site without warnings of their content. Children are daily exposed to images of hardcore sexual acts and terrorist media.

The Taliban has over 800k Twitter followers

Our site, however has been wrongly labelled, simply because we write Juvenalian satire. Twitter has removed us from search and when we post anything no one can see our posts. The literary genre of satire has been around for thousands of years and was once celebrated yet today in an upside down world, Juvenalian satire is punished by people who either do not understand it, or are simply malicious twisted soviet morons.

@DAILYSQUIB

To add insult to injury, now there are multiple copycat accounts on Twitter copying our name. Please be aware, @DAILYSQUIB is the only account on Twitter that is us.