Slick Sunak Redistributes Supplies From Grimsby Food Bank to Tunbridge Wells

In a shocking action that has confirmed how out of touch billionaire Rishi Sunak is, he ordered the redistribution of vital food supplies for poor people to be given to rich people who simply threw it all in the bin.

“On Wednesday, a massive van turned up at our food bank. We thought it was a food delivery, but Tory leadership hopeful Rishi Sunak turned up with a troop of thirty or so movers. They slapped a paper down then went into our store and ransacked the joint leaving only a packet of Ginger Nuts biscuits,” Reverend Shawn Gundam, told the Grimsby Express.

Meanwhile, down in Tunbridge Wells, where many wealthy people live, the food bank stores were delivered to multi-million pound homes.

Graham Jagger, 38, a stockbroker in the City, was shocked to have a load of food delivered straight to his doorstep at his £6.5 million property.

“There was a note from Rishi Sunak saying he delivered some levelling up. I looked in the basket of food and immediately threw it all in the bin. Not one piece of organic, gluten-free, macrobiotic sustainable food was present. I may be a stockbroker, but I have to have the right food.”

Naturally, upon hearing of this levelling up fiasco, the Labour Party’s sister magazine The New Statesman had a bloody field day, along with Tory leadership hopeful Liz Truss and her supporters.