Vladimir Putin: Peter the Great or Catherine the Great?

Putin claims he is like Peter the Great…but could the opposite be true? Catherine the Great of Russia apparently enjoyed the bestial contentment of thick long horse appendages, as the myths about her deviant ways spread across Europe in the 1800s. Her unfortunate death allegedly as a result of a horse being winched up to impale her are of course probably salacious tales spread at the time, but could there be some truth in the hearsay? Certainly, Catherine the Great had a voracious appetite for sex and her alleged liaisons with a huge horse phallus are possibly variations of some sort of truth. Does Vladimir Putin have the same sensibilities as Catherine the Great? Excuse the vomit bag, even the mere thought brings up some bile, as the video of Mr. Hands comes to mind. If you were there during the beginning of the internet, you will know who Mr. Hands was, as he also supposedly died from a horny horse.

The horrors of the past all come full circle. Look what happened to poor old Litvinenko, who dared to bring forth sordid rumours of Putin and young boys. He was given a dose of Polonium-210 in his cup of tea in London. No one will ever know if what Litvinenko dared to utter was based in truth apart from maybe a few former KGB insiders, who are probably also dead now.

The main theme here is: will we ever truly know what goes on behind the closed doors of the upper echelons‽ The answer is invariably — no. The deeds Putin and his cronies have committed are steeped in utter secrecy. His agents even collect his excrement when abroad and carry it back to Russia in a special suitcase, such is the insular paranoia of the man.