Covid Virus Tests Positive For Hillary Clinton

A Covid virus cluster announced on Tuesday that they had tested positive for Hillary Clinton.

“I’ve got some mild cold symptoms but am feeling fine…ah, ah, ah-choo!” one single Covid cell, part of the BA.2 variant, said on Twitter. “Catching a Hillary Clinton is so tiring. She doesn’t stop fucking talking about her lost 2016 election. It just goes on and on and on! ”

The BA.2 variant Covid virus also said that its distant variant, Alpha, had “tested negative and is feeling fine.”

“He’s quarantining until our household is fully in the clear. Movie recommendations appreciated!” the virus said in a tweet.

The Covid virus’ announcement comes amid a string of positive Hillary results from prominent strains in the last few weeks — including Omicron, Delta and Gamma. Though overall Hillary Clinton cases in the U.S. have fallen, the uptick in cases in Europe of Hillary Clinton could indicate a similar outbreak in the U.S.

One Covid virus cell was inconsolable.

“If I get infected by Hillary Clinton again, I fear I may lose my sanity. The quarantine alone is a nightmare, I mean, how many times can anyone watch the 2016 election results on loop without their RNA nucleoproteins simply imploding? Yaaaargh!”