Meghan Seen Off the Coast of Jamaica in Submarine

WAG WAAN! After Meghan’s attempt to thwart the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge’s visit to Belize in a helicopter, she has now hired a submarine from the Medellín Cartel to mess with the royal trip to Jamaica.

“Jamaica mistake wit’ dat monn? Mi don’ si nah sub-marine in di ocean! Mi gat mor cheance si Haile Salacee! Go down deh!” a Rasta said on the beach, squinting his eyes through his dreads.

Torpedo Alert

Rumours have been flying all across the island that Meghan is planning a campaign to highlight to the natives that the visiting royals are directly descended from slave traders.

“Bumba Clot! Is dat da truff? Small up yuhself! Weh yuh ah seh? Dis Meghan mebbe criss ting but mi susspec she ginnal,” another man on the beach revealed before climbing a tree to get a coconut.

The Jamaican navy has been put on full alert and if they see the submarine have vowed to sink it.

Rear Admiral Sly “Rude Boy” Marvin said his vessel was on permanent standby.

“Yah Sir! di yardie navy a pan standby yah now. Wi a gwine sink Meghan’s submarine an save di Cambridge’s fram more humiliations. Fi mi mon can row di boat real faas!”

Currently, the Cambridge’s are in Trench Town. The royal couple were mobbed by huge crowds of well-wishers desperate to shake their hands and share high-fives as they visited Bob Marley’s former home.