Parliamentarians Truly Surprised by Bercow Defection

Former Tory MP and Speaker of the House of Commons, John Bercow, has astonished members of his former party and parliament by defecting to the Labour party.

“He was a Tory, through and through. I never would have guessed that Bercow was a meddling commie implant all of this time,” an astonished Tory MP revealed, whacking himself on the head in disbelief.

There were absolutely no indications whatsoever that Bercow was a Labour implant into the Conservative Party for all those years.

“When he was House Speaker he never gave favours or showed bias in favour of Labour. Bercow also never tried to pervert parliamentary processes to thwart Brexit and democracy in any way. Oh, look out the window, a pair of flying pink elephants are copulating whilst smoking Cuban cigars!” another parliamentary observer exclaimed.

There is another bonus for John Bercow for declaring his Labour credentials. He will now be guaranteed his £300/day when Labour puts him forward as a Lord.

Sally Bercow, congratulated her husband from a gypsy caravan somewhere in Cheshunt, where she has shacked up with some bruiser.

“All those years working undercover for John took their toll. That’s why I am in this caravan right now and some gypsy he-man is about to come in and give my box a good seeing to, something ‘limpy’ could not fulfil.”