Ryanair Customers to be Mugged at Check-In

Ryanair staff have been told to increase the company’s profits by mugging passengers at the check-in desks prior to boarding their flights.

“We already mug them when they book their flights with excessive charges but we have been ordered to go a step further by mugging the bastards physically by nicking their hand luggage or going into their pockets to steal their gadgets,” Elaine O’Riordan, a Ryanair worker told the BBC.

Passengers have already complained about the muggings, but were simply told to “shut it, or we’ll throw you off the fu**ing plane” by bully Ryanair workers.

Doreen Elsingham, from Watford was travelling to Benidorm on a two week package holiday last week; and when she went to the flight check-in, she was told to hand over her i-pod, i-pad, smartphone and a box of Swiss chocolate she was taking to her 90-year-old grandmother or get a smack in the face.