Kim Jong Un Goes Thermo Nuclear

PYONGYANG - North Korea - Supreme leader of the Communist North Korean dictatorship, Kim Jong Un has taken a dangerous step ahead to become the world's most feared man.

Speaking on the North Korean state news service (KCNA), Kim Jong Un revealed the truth about the recent surgical operations he has been receiving.

“Comrades, I, myself am now thermo nuclear. I have had two muffugin 500 megaton bombs embedded in my moobs. I will still be your leader, but I warn y’all, if I get angry I may blow. Don’t be tweaking my nips either, those are the damn triggers.”

The North Korean dictator got the idea for the dangerous nuclear mechanical implants after watching a dubbed knock off copy of Iron Man II starring his hero Robert Downey Jr.

Senior North Korean generals however have their doubts about the whole insane situation.

“All it is going to take for the whole frickin mother load to go up is Comrade Kim to shake his moobs in a wild moob shake fest. Then we all go get instantly vapourised. Nigga’s crazy!” General Kim Sung Song told North Korean state news before being shot on the spot for dissent by a special forces unit.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    50+ Investable Opportunities Found in a New Analysis Providing Economic Gains

    GENEVA - Switzerland - The World Economic Forum has identified over 50 investable opportunities offering…

    2 days ago

    Strait of Hormuz: Shame on Many Coward NATO Members

    LONDON - England - Multiple members of NATO have displayed their profound cowardice and shame…

    3 days ago

    Shia Islamic Iran Willing to Take Down Globe For the Twelfth Imam

    TEHRAN - Iran - The Shia Islamic Iranian Republic is awaiting the Twelfth Imam to…

    5 days ago

    Iranian Regime Now Releasing AI-Generated Disinformation of Captured US Soldiers

    LONDON - England - The U.S. Intelligence community needs to stamp down on the mass…

    1 week ago

    The Have-Nots Don’t Have Anything to Lose – But You Do!

    LOS ANGELES - USA - There are millions and millions of have-nots who don't have…

    1 week ago

    TRUMP: Kill One Ayatollah – Get Another One Free

    TEHRAN - Iran - President Trump sure got the deal of the century when he…

    1 week ago

    This website uses cookies.