Germany Agrees to Bailout Greece Once a Year For the Next Eighty Years

“We realise they refuse to pay back the money they owe every time we ask so today I have committed the German taxpayers to bail out the Greeks on a yearly basis for the next eighty years. This way the Greeks can keep their way of life and carry on with not paying any taxation or servicing the debt they owe us. This is a required action unfortunately otherwise the EU and euro would be in trouble,” Mr Schauble told German news crews at an impromptu news conference today.

As soon as the news came through about the jackpot deal, people took to the streets all over Greece cheering their German benefactors.

“This is a glorious day. It means I can keep my porsche boxter which I bought purely from the proceeds of EU subsidies. I have never paid an ounce of tax and I enjoy my 75,000 euro salary for cleaning park benches twice a week. I think I’ll be off to the coast for another four month holiday to celebrate,” Nikos Makalarios, 43, told local Greek news stations.

Another Greek said: “It’s not enough. We want more.”