CNN Don Lemon: “Squeeze Me I’m a Yella Coward!”

NEW YORK - USA - Don Lemon from CNN wants you to squeeze the juice out of his loveable yella self.

Don Lemon exemplifies everything about what the U.S. media has metamorphosized into over the years. This flappy insipid urine stain is the poster child of a generation who are not interested in informative news reports but puerile name-calling and vindictive cowardly supposed progressive virtue signalling opinions garnered from the pansy ghetto of disinformation and biased reportage. These vile pantheons of mediocrity and banality are all always right of course, because they said so…silly!

“Everything I say is correct so listen to me my darlings,” Lemon pleads for his adoring automaton audience to spark up.

“My husband and I are so angry right now, we don’t know why we hate Trump so much, but we’re asking you all to vote for Biden instead because we said so. Ooh, did you see Hunter’s custard launcher? It was huge and so adorable! You know from that laptop that no one is allowed to talk about or report.”

Don Lemon then squeezes his head and a little gay rainbow juice comes out the top.

“Ima gon save dat for my husband later!”

When Don Lemon finishes his biased report, he sashays down the CNN corridor and rushes to get to the toilets.

“It gets looser as we get older from overuse. AAAaargh! My sphincter is practically non-existent. Dayum, I don’t think I’m gonna make it! I might have to drop a lemon or four in the corridor!”

That’s when Lemon squirts out some nasty poopers all over the CNN corridor, they just pop out with a whooshing sound.

Things sure have changed since the days when CNN used to be a real news station.