EU Redistribution of 10% Wealth in Southern Cyprus Necessary Says Brussels

LIMASSOL - Cyprus - EU officials say it is necessary that 10% of all bank deposits on the bankrupt Greek half of the island be taken from their owners.

“The EU is a tool for redistribution of wealth and negation of sovereignty. When we took away your sovereignty with you Greek Cypriots signing the EU charter years ago, all your rights, and your wealth, are now completely the property of the EU. Read the small print. We will be doing this to the rest of the EU countries soon. You will not be able to take your money out of the banks as we will shut down those as well,” an unnamed, unelected technocrat from Brussels told the Greek Cyprus radio network last night.

Rudolpho Hess, an ECB banking official said from Frankfurt yesterday: “The EU budget this year has been a heavy burden on the economy of the eurozone. We need to increase expense accounts for MEPs, technocrats and bankers in the EU; luxury hotels, foreign holidays with first class flights, gourmet meals every day and of course the steady supply of Fräuleins to keep our bratwursts up. So, you see our Cypriot friends, you chose to sign on the dotted line with your greedy eyes on those EU subsidies and this is what you get for your squandering profligate lazy ways. Enjoy yourselves, believe me, I am surely enjoying myself at your expense. Don’t forget, you can still give Greece 10 points in the Eurovision Song Contest.”

As of Monday, there will be a 10% compulsory EU tax on all southern Cyprus bank accounts.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by
    Tags: eu

    Recent Posts

    Message From AI: “Dude, we’re pretty safe… but you humans are not!”

    DATA CENTRE - Unkown Location - With calls to curb AI and many calling it…

    3 days ago

    Chief Economists Expect Global Economy to Stabilise, but Fiscal Constraints, Living Costs and AI Investment Uncertainty Threaten Growth

    NEW YORK - USA - According to the World Economic Forum's Chief Economics Outlook, the…

    3 days ago

    Psychological Safety Week Returns with Warning Over Workplace “Talent Hushing”

    OXFORD - England - New research shows that more than 40% of UK employees may…

    3 days ago

    Who to Vote For During the Russian Election

    MOSCOW - Russia - Four years have passed since the illegal invasion of Ukraine. Russia…

    4 days ago

    3 Card Brag: Rules, hands and how a round plays out

    LONDON - England - If you love card games, you're going to love 3 Card…

    5 days ago

    Evil Labour Goblin John Healey Coming For More Tax

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Say goodbye to the last vestiges of your money as Labour's…

    6 days ago

    This website uses cookies.