Comrade Chavez Goes to the Great Dacha in the Sky

CARACAS - Venezuela - Sean Penn, Fidel Castro, Cristina Kirchner and President Obama were in mourning today, as were thousands of Venezuelans after their cherished communist leader passed away.

“Our beloved Comrade is now at rest in the great dacha in the sky. Venezuela’s loss is Stalin, Marx, Mao, Ken Livinstone and Lenin’s gain. He will also be meeting up with the other great revolutionary, Che Guevara up there in the red commie clouds,” a Venezuelan mourner told local Caracas radio stations today.

The staunch communist who amassed a personal fortune of $2 billion will be buried sometime next week.

On a slow news day like today, it’s great to get a little injection of news, and the death of Hugo Chavez is certainly a little morsel to sate the appetite slightly.

“We needed some kind of news like this, but it was inevitable, especially after the recent denials by Venezuelan officials for the past few days that Chavez had died. It’s always the case with such stories that when you have vehement denials like that, you know the inevitable has already occurred,” one of the news hungry journo’s outside the Chavez palace told their audience.

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