Bankrupt Argentina Wants to Move Whole Country to Falklands For UK Benefits Culture

BUENOS AIRES - Argentina - It has finally been revealed what Cristina Kirchner, the Argentine leader is planning to do in the next few months.

“We heard the UK has got a great benefits culture because everyone from the world goes there to get free money, healthcare and schooling. We want the same because in Argentina we are bankrupt. This is why my friends, we are all going to move to Falkland Islands and then we can have same thing British people have,” Carlos Jakalloa, an unemployed Argentine man from the capital city told local news outlets.

Cristina Kirchner says that at some stage, thousands of ships will embark from the coast and sail to the Falkland Isles where the millions of Argentinians will disembark and start building their homes.

“Viva llas Malvina we are all moving there so that we can live on benefits system from the UK. I want 56 inch plasma screen, playstation and all my booze and ciggies paid for, innit,” Rodriguez Domingo, another unemployed Argentinian revealed.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    “I WILL CARRY ON! CHAOS! I WILL CARRY ON! CHAOS! CHAOSSSSS!”

    PLANET SCUNTHORPE - KEIR DAVROS HAS MADE A DEFIANT SPEECH IN DEFENCE OF HIS RULE.

    20 hours ago

    Artificial Intelligence Emerging as a Key Competitive Advantage in Cybersecurity, New Report Finds

    GENEVA - Switzerland - Artificial intelligence is transforming the cybersecurity landscape at an unprecedented pace…

    3 days ago

    Comical Starmer Reassures Labour Party After Election Drubbing

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Comical Starmer has reassured Labour Party members that everything is okay…

    4 days ago

    LOCAL ELECTION RESULTS: “Comrades, everything is okay. Nothing has changed!”

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Comrade Starmer is defiant despite massive Labour Party losses with the…

    5 days ago

    VOTE LABOUR: “Comrades, today I am ordering you to vote for Labour”

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Supreme Comrade Starmer is ordering all citizens of the People's Republic…

    6 days ago

    We’re Giving Away 1,000 FREE Tickets on an EXCLUSIVE Hantavirus Cruise

    SOUTHAMPTON - England - The Daily Squib is giving away 1,000 free tickets on an…

    1 week ago

    This website uses cookies.