Bankrupt Argentina Wants to Move Whole Country to Falklands For UK Benefits Culture

BUENOS AIRES - Argentina - It has finally been revealed what Cristina Kirchner, the Argentine leader is planning to do in the next few months.

“We heard the UK has got a great benefits culture because everyone from the world goes there to get free money, healthcare and schooling. We want the same because in Argentina we are bankrupt. This is why my friends, we are all going to move to Falkland Islands and then we can have same thing British people have,” Carlos Jakalloa, an unemployed Argentine man from the capital city told local news outlets.

Cristina Kirchner says that at some stage, thousands of ships will embark from the coast and sail to the Falkland Isles where the millions of Argentinians will disembark and start building their homes.

“Viva llas Malvina we are all moving there so that we can live on benefits system from the UK. I want 56 inch plasma screen, playstation and all my booze and ciggies paid for, innit,” Rodriguez Domingo, another unemployed Argentinian revealed.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    Labour Mourns Downfall of Leftist Celebrity Hero Russell Brand

    MANCHESTER - England - The far-left and Labour Party are today mourning the downfall of…

    3 days ago

    Convicted Rapist Russell Brand to go to Prison

    LONDON - England - Former celebrity Russell Brand has been convicted of rape.

    4 days ago

    US Midterms: Lame Duck Trump Just Got Ducked in the …

    WASHINGTON - D.C. - There's blood on the cities of America after a midterm election…

    5 days ago

    Why Mission Uncrossable Became a Crash Phenomenon

    LONDON - England - When it comes to crash-style gaming, Mission Uncrossable is making huge…

    6 days ago

    London 2026 – The City of Shit

    LONDON - England - The capital city of Britain was once a great city but…

    1 week ago

    BUDGET SECRETS – Why Labour Needs the Neets

    MANCHESTER - England - It was a great Labour budget yesterday for the NEETS and…

    2 weeks ago

    This website uses cookies.