Biden Says He’s Ready For the Election in 1987

Speaking to reporters on Monday, the presidential candidate for the Democrat party, Joe Biden said: “I am ready for the election and will beat Trump hands down. Remember to vote Joe Biden in this year’s 1987 election to be held on Christmas Day, zabub, tiizzziarbon, lill iy iy iyiy iy…Ya yay ayayyayy!”

The reporters did not want to embarrass Mr. Biden, so they just nodded their heads in agreement.

“I got news for you folks, when I become president of Bulgaria in 1989, I will give every person a free hot dog, with relish, maybe some mustard, and don’t forget the catsup. Call Lenny! Bung hole magic lines. Reet petite, Napoleon Bonaparte he was a mean sumabitch. I just caught the ball! Path to the millionaires doorstep all six at a time! Are you my grandma? I’ll be your granddaughter..either that or a smooch on the lips! Pepperoni on mine please, devil may try, I gotcha for El Presidente!”

Uncle Joe Biden seemed to be going at his speech at a hundred miles an hour.

“Tortilla cup and an apricot samwich! Mayo clinic got’s a lotta mayo, lettuce with that? Or maybe let us pray! Fork and spoons, fork and spoons, ma mama say on the toilet, or was that forty niners, take me to the pier and spank my red butt with a cauliflower soup handle. Tampa, I love that place. We’re going where? Votes for my spank, delirium in the hose pipe, ooh gotta do the callisthenics!”

When asked by an eager CNN reporter whether he will win the election, Biden got angry.

“I’ll win the brocade, party time in html language. Kiss my erect pencil I just won the prize of all and you need a licence for that gun! Who told you to come here without a licence? Arrest that woman man thing. Secret service pop pop gum, cherry flavour semolina drips!”