Obama: “Why Trump Should Never Have Been President – I Got the Tapes”

“I allegedly bugged Trump Tower while Trump was a candidate for election, and I have to tell ya, he doesn’t deserve to be president, not after what I heard,” former president, Barack Hussein revealed on Tuesday.

Will we ever get to hear those tapes, and if Obama recorded anything untoward, he should reveal the details.

“You call him the Teflon Don. I personally oversaw the bugs and FISA warrant wiretapping operation. The shit I heard, if it was publicised, would make him the Velcro Don!” Obama added.

Obamagate

No one has dared to actually question the legality of what Obama allegedly did by bugging Trump’s phones and home, but questions must one day be answered.

“You ever spent hours and days in a van parked outside Trump Towers? The van smelled of stale coffee, farts, burritos and feet. We could hear a pin drop in his place, and when he sometimes farted near the bugging devices, we thought someone had let off a grenade. All I will tell ya, is that Melania obeys Donald like an Eastern European slave woman. Like he tells her to sit on the floor, twirl on her head then whoop like a dog, and she does it without question. Wish I could do the same with Michael. Then Trump would throw her twenty dollars and tell her to buy a cone. I can’t speak Russian, but we got some serious stuff.”

It seems, despite the threats going back and forth, president Trump is somewhat caught in the headlights and is not acting against his old foe in the face of these spurious claims.