Millions Starving North Koreans Could be Fed on Kim Jong-un Corpse

PYONGYANG - N.Korea - With the death of the former leader, Kim Jong-un, the starving people of this communist country are set to feast on some roasted meat for a change.

Before dying, the former N.Korean leader Kim Jong-un was so fat that he had to be wheeled around in a specially made cart.

Fed only on Western junk food imported into the country, Kim Jong-un’s massive imposing figure was not only feared but desired by the starving N.Korean people who had been reduced to eating grass, and old shoes in the strict communist country.

Cuni Boll, a chef from Pyongyang revealed: “We boil the shoe so we can eat the leather, and the grass makes a good sauce. Then suddenly, on TV Kim Jong-un would come on. I salivate, he look like fat piglet, scrumptious! I wanna eat Kim, I starve, he look juicy, I could eat roasted pork rib Jong-un. Yum, yum!”

Pig ready for barbecue roast.

Kim Jong-un’s death has not been announced yet in the communist country, but with many mouths to feed, politburo members are desperate to feast on the spicy taste of pork, direct from the plentiful loins of their former leader.

“Politburo members will get the best cuts, and the masses after will only get the scraps, but that’s communism for you, eh!” a high ranking communist party member said licking his lips and rubbing his belly.

According to sources, Kim Jong-un’s huge body is currently being marinated before roasting commences. The body is so big that it may take a few days of spit roasting before being portioned off to the starving population. The cooks need to get a good glaze on the flesh before it is served up to the expectant diners.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    Labour Mourns Downfall of Leftist Celebrity Hero Russell Brand

    MANCHESTER - England - The far-left and Labour Party are today mourning the downfall of…

    3 days ago

    Convicted Rapist Russell Brand to go to Prison

    LONDON - England - Former celebrity Russell Brand has been convicted of rape.

    4 days ago

    US Midterms: Lame Duck Trump Just Got Ducked in the …

    WASHINGTON - D.C. - There's blood on the cities of America after a midterm election…

    5 days ago

    Why Mission Uncrossable Became a Crash Phenomenon

    LONDON - England - When it comes to crash-style gaming, Mission Uncrossable is making huge…

    6 days ago

    London 2026 – The City of Shit

    LONDON - England - The capital city of Britain was once a great city but…

    1 week ago

    BUDGET SECRETS – Why Labour Needs the Neets

    MANCHESTER - England - It was a great Labour budget yesterday for the NEETS and…

    2 weeks ago

    This website uses cookies.