Americans Finally Find Out What Was in Their Twinkies

“I been eating Twinkies since 1941 and I love ’em. I am real upset that Hostess is not making those things any more and have gone bankrupt,” Edward Herlihy, 84, a retired postman from Minneapolis told CBS local news.

When U.S. parent company Hostess filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection many people across America were terribly upset, but there was to be a further shock to the system, when they found out what the secret cream filling consists of inside those tasty American treats.

“When Hostess was declared bankrupt, we were cleaning out the offices and found a piece of paper. On it there was a list of ingredients that made me wretch. Americans have been devouring Twinkies since 1930. Now I know why they had a donkey stable behind the factory,” a disgusted bankruptcy investigator revealed Wednesday.

According to investigators, the white cream filling consists of donkey semen farmed from thousands of donkeys in the back of the factory every day.

“I had to milk those donkeys every day and we put the fresh cream into big vats. Then they pumped it all in a big tube in the factory, whipped it with large mixers, and squirt it into the Twinkies. We’ve been doing this since the beginning and we got no complaints even from the FDA. It’s just another animal by-product,” an unemployed donkey milker for the bankrupt Twinkies manufacturer told CNN.