Herman Van Rompuy’s Unsecured Payday Loans For EU Bureaucrats

BRUSSELS - Belgium - It's not just regular people getting payday loans at 4358% APR but the unelected leader of the EU is getting them too so he can keep the Brussels hierarchy in champagne and caviare.

“We have to pay for our unelected bureaucracy somehow. They are used to their gourmet cuisine, first class long haul flights, expensive hotels, chauffeurs, diamond plated pensions, unlimited expense accounts, the champagne, the caviare and of course the high class brothels. How are these unelected EU bureaucrats meant to survive if we cut their goodies? We certainly cannot live like the scummy population who are being taxed into hell every day,” Mr Van Rompuy told Euronews yesterday.

The unsecured payday loans that Herman Van Rompuy will get should hold the EU over until February, and then there will have to be more loans to keep the unelected officials in party mode.

“We just keep adding on more debt, and as long as we are having a great time, who cares what happens, eh? The beauty about this system is we make the debt and you, the EU citizens pay for it.” a jovial Mr Rompuy said on his way to a Brussels S&M dungeon to torture some personally selected victims.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Tags: eu

    Recent Posts

    DEFENCELESS BRITAIN – The Practical British Prepper: A Three-Month Household Plan

    LONDON - England - Britain is defenceless and bankrupt. It is not too late if…

    1 day ago

    Why Labour is Destroying British Pubs

    LONDON - England - Labour is destroying British pubs. Across the British Isles, thousands of…

    3 days ago

    King Charles Agrees to Meghan Markle Statue at Buckingham Palace

    LONDON - England - King Charles III has agreed to a Meghan Markle statue to…

    6 days ago

    Dangerous Criminal Disappointed by Early Release Thanks to Labour

    WORMWOOD SCRUBS - England - A dangerous criminal is seriously disappointed with his early release…

    6 days ago

    Comrade Burn’em Residing at His Manchester Dacha For Holiday

    MANCHESTER - England - Comrade Burn'em has retired to his dacha up north after two…

    1 week ago

    Digital Science Launches Papers AI: an AI-Native Researcher Workspace for Writing, Data and Code

    LONDON - England - Digital Science launches Papers AI which gives researchers and students an…

    1 week ago

    This website uses cookies.