World

Annoying Voice: Nasal Keir Starmer Can’t Speak Properly Say Voters

MACCLESFIELD - England - Keir Starmer and his nasal droning voice puts off voters as he bids to become the next Labour leader.

It’s like hearing a voice through a cotton wool tuba, that is the truly annoying blackboard scraping sound of listening to Labour politician, Keir Starmer, who hopes to become the next leader of the socialist party of Britain.

“I can’t listen to him, as soon as he comes on, I switch to another channel,” one former Labour voter revealed.

Keir Starmer cannot breathe through his nose, and this is why he sounds so awful when he speaks.

“Why doesn’t he just blow his nose. It is so annoying that when he speaks I want to hit something. I can’t imagine listening to this nasal disaster every day through the Labour announcements and authoritarian socialist lectures he will give if he becomes Labour leader,” another voter revealed.

One man even suggested getting an electric drill and drilling some holes in Starmer’s blocked nasal passages.

“Just bought a Black and Decker, whenever I hear Keir Starmer speak I want to get the thickest drill bit I have shove it up his nostrils and drill. His voice is so annoying that I would prefer to be tormented by a dozen mosquitoes on a summer’s night buzzing around my room than listen to that fucking Starmer. The sound of squealing pigs off to the abatoir is a better sound.”

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    LAMMY: Mandem to be Released Early

    LONDON - England - Labour Justice Secretary David Lammy is to release up to 6,000…

    20 hours ago

    15th Five-Year Plan: What China’s Development Means to the World

    DALIAN - China - The World Economic Forum meeting is upbeat about China’s 15th Five-Year…

    1 day ago

    When Mother Earth Speaks Humans Still Do Not Listen

    CARACAS - Venezuela - A 7.5 magnitude earthquake is a small reminder that humans are…

    2 days ago

    Unelected Comrade Burnham Ushering New Era of Communism

    MANCHESTER - England - Unelected Comrade Burnham has destroyed the last vestiges of democracy as…

    4 days ago

    People’s Republic of Soviet Britain Urgent Bulletin Regarding Comrade Starmer

    MANCHESTER - England - Good news comrades. Comrade Starmer has been apprehended and made into…

    5 days ago

    “Comrades, they are coming for me on Monday! This is it!”

    UNDISCLOSED LOCATION - Comrade Starmer has revealed in a communique that a dastardly coup is…

    6 days ago

    This website uses cookies.