World

Annoying Voice: Nasal Keir Starmer Can’t Speak Properly Say Voters

MACCLESFIELD - England - Keir Starmer and his nasal droning voice puts off voters as he bids to become the next Labour leader.

It’s like hearing a voice through a cotton wool tuba, that is the truly annoying blackboard scraping sound of listening to Labour politician, Keir Starmer, who hopes to become the next leader of the socialist party of Britain.

“I can’t listen to him, as soon as he comes on, I switch to another channel,” one former Labour voter revealed.

Keir Starmer cannot breathe through his nose, and this is why he sounds so awful when he speaks.

“Why doesn’t he just blow his nose. It is so annoying that when he speaks I want to hit something. I can’t imagine listening to this nasal disaster every day through the Labour announcements and authoritarian socialist lectures he will give if he becomes Labour leader,” another voter revealed.

One man even suggested getting an electric drill and drilling some holes in Starmer’s blocked nasal passages.

“Just bought a Black and Decker, whenever I hear Keir Starmer speak I want to get the thickest drill bit I have shove it up his nostrils and drill. His voice is so annoying that I would prefer to be tormented by a dozen mosquitoes on a summer’s night buzzing around my room than listen to that fucking Starmer. The sound of squealing pigs off to the abatoir is a better sound.”

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