World

Election 2019: This is a Sad Day For Communism

LONDON - England - It is a sad day for communism today as Labour have lost the election under their erstwhile leader, Jeremy Corbyn.

There were tears all across the country as Labour lost the election under their Communist leader Comrade Corbyn.

“Today, Stalin weeps in his grave. Our Bolshevik Soviet revolution has been thwarted. I will continue to fight for the red cause and my 10-year collectivist plan. I will not give in to the people who value wealth, aspiration, and democracy,” Comrade Corbyn said from his dacha in Islington.

There were some voters who voted for communism to be instated in Britain, and all across the country, all one could hear was the sound of weeping.

“I am speechless, I thought with all my heart that today we would all be living in a Soviet communist country where all businesses would be nationalised and ownership of private property would be banned,” one Labour supporter revealed whilst crying over their cabbage soup.

Labour Commissars across the nation woke up to the sad news, some of them even losing their seats.

There will now be NO FREE BROADBAND, NO FREE UNIVERSITIES, NO FREE SAFARI TRIPS TO AFRICA, NO FREE BREAST IMPLANTS, NO FREE WAITROSE VOUCHERS, NO FREE TRAVEL, NO FREE DENTAL HEALTHCARE, and most of all no free massive national debt to pay for it all for generations to come.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share

Recent Posts

ANALYSIS: Was Prince Harry Making a Statement in Latest Address?

MONTECITO - USA - Prince Harry made a new appearance wearing military medals on his…

2 days ago

Triggered Woke People and Eco Zealots Encouraged to Choose Euthanasia

SCUNTHORPE - England - A Labour think tank details its proposals for the government to…

3 days ago

Rat Sadiq Khan Set to Win Again as Mayor of London

LONDON - England - The vile reign of rat Sadiq Khan as Mayor of London…

3 days ago

MI5 20 Years Too Late On Chinese Espionage at UK Universities?

OXFORD - England - The MI5 have finally got round to warning UK universities of…

3 days ago

Meghan Markle Sends Pint of Milk to 50 Celebrities

MONTECITO - USA - Meghan Markle has been busy milking and sending pints of the…

4 days ago

Illegal Migrant: “I want to go to Rwanda”

CALAIS - France - It seems that for many illegal migrants, being sent to Rwanda…

5 days ago

This website uses cookies.