World

Prince Andrew Bottled Sweat Being Sold Auction Site

BEIJING - China - Prince Andrew's potent sweat has been bottled and sold across the globe, a new damning report reveals.

It doesn’t get nastier than this, some enterprising entrepreneurs are now selling bottles claiming to be the sweat of Prince Andrew on auction sites across the globe.

In China, you can buy a one litre bottle for $350 each, but the question is, what on earth do people do with the stuff?

Labelled as the sweat from Prince Andrew’s armpits and butt crack, the sweat bottles are falling off the shelf, as many Asian men consider it an attractant to women as well as an aphrodisiac. Virginia Roberts, the concubine Andrew allegedly slept with, recalled how the prince sweated profusely all over whilst he was dancing in a night club.

Lee Hung Lo, from Beijing, claims the prince’s sweat is like pure jet fuel.

“I tooka one drop and Beijing girrs awr ovah me! It rike I wenta claaazy!!”

Unfortunately, Mr Lo was arrested shortly after and will be charged for sexual assault on multiple women.

Eau de Andrew – The Scent of Extortion

One vendor claims the princely sweat was collected off the floor of Tramp nightclub on the night the prince allegedly did not have a leg over session with one of Epstein’s concubines.

“This stuff frying off shelf rike nothing ah sold befo!” another happy vendor claimed in an email.

Having had a sample of the bottle’s contents analysed at a Swiss laboratory, they were found to contain the sweat of a pig. One suppose’s there’s not much difference, but stay away from the bottles of prince Andrew sweat folks, it just ain’t worth it.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    “I WILL CARRY ON! CHAOS! I WILL CARRY ON! CHAOS! CHAOSSSSS!”

    PLANET SCUNTHORPE - KEIR DAVROS HAS MADE A DEFIANT SPEECH IN DEFENCE OF HIS RULE.

    19 hours ago

    Artificial Intelligence Emerging as a Key Competitive Advantage in Cybersecurity, New Report Finds

    GENEVA - Switzerland - Artificial intelligence is transforming the cybersecurity landscape at an unprecedented pace…

    3 days ago

    Comical Starmer Reassures Labour Party After Election Drubbing

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Comical Starmer has reassured Labour Party members that everything is okay…

    4 days ago

    LOCAL ELECTION RESULTS: “Comrades, everything is okay. Nothing has changed!”

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Comrade Starmer is defiant despite massive Labour Party losses with the…

    5 days ago

    VOTE LABOUR: “Comrades, today I am ordering you to vote for Labour”

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Supreme Comrade Starmer is ordering all citizens of the People's Republic…

    6 days ago

    We’re Giving Away 1,000 FREE Tickets on an EXCLUSIVE Hantavirus Cruise

    SOUTHAMPTON - England - The Daily Squib is giving away 1,000 free tickets on an…

    1 week ago

    This website uses cookies.