Penn State University Honoured By Pope

Speaking from the Vatican, the Pope spoke of his pride, and praised Penn State University: “Just like the Catholic church they have handled the inevitable situations that always crop up with our two institutions. We have to say that their secrecy levels were almost as good as the Catholic church’s in hiding the mass paedophilia and buggery that is prevalent in both of our institutions. We did it all in the name of god and they did it all in the name of American football, that was the only difference, otherwise it was business as usual.”

Ex Penn State coach, Jerry Sandusky, was personally praised by the Pope even though he was taken to jail and imprisoned for life yesterday on multiple charges of child sex abuse.

“We want to make Mr Sandusky an honorary member of the Catholic priesthood for his role in teaching young boys on how to play ball, or should that be, balls? Once he gets out of prison, he will always have a place in the church,” the Pope said addressing a Vatican TV crew for a message to be broadcast tomorrow.