England Gripped By Terrible Drought

TEWKESBURY - England - Official drought zones have been declared in a further 25 English counties, as a warning came that the drought could last until Christmas.

England’s South West and the Midlands have moved into official drought status even though they are all “under 18 feet of rain water”, the Environment Agency said.

The Midlands region covering Nottinghamshire, Leicestershire, Derbyshire, Staffordshire, West Midlands, Warwickshire, Shropshire, Worcestershire, Herefordshire and Gloucestershire are so far under water, that people can’t even find their hosepipes to ban them.

“It’s ridiculous. They told me I can’t use my hosepipe or water my plants, but I can’t actually find my garden anymore under the water and forget about running a bath, that floated away two days ago. This is certainly the wettest drought I’ve ever experienced,” Reginald Mucklestwat, 58, from the village of Twittleberry in Gloucestershire, told the BBC from a boat.

The media frenzy over the hosepipe ban has escalated with drought related news stories popping up all over England’s media every few seconds.

The BBC, ITV and Sky news all sent their reporters to the drought ridden areas wearing scuba diving equipment as more reports of drought were rolled out ad infinitum.

Daily Squib Book

DAILY SQUIB BOOK The Perfect Gift or can also be used as a doorstop. Grab a piece of internet political satire history encapsulating 15 years of satirical works. The Daily Squib Anthology REVIEWS: "The author sweats satire from every pore" | "Overall, I was surprised at the wit and inventedness of the Daily Squib Compendium. It's funny, laugh out loud funny" | "Would definitely recommend 10/10" | "This anthology serves up the choicest cuts from a 15-year reign at the top table of Internet lampoonery" | "Every time I pick it up I see something different which is a rarity in any book"
Disqus Comments Loading...
Share
Published by

Recent Posts

Local Election: Rishi Sunak Thinking About Taking a Flight to Rwanda

LONDON - England - Beleaguered PM Rishi Suank is thinking of taking a one-way flight…

10 hours ago

Elon Musk to Lift X Ban on Neo-Nazi Leader But Daily Squib is Still Banned

SILICON VALLEY - USA - Elon Musk is to lift the ban on Neo-Nazi leader…

11 hours ago

Local Elections: Murder at the Polls For Rishi Sunak

BLACKPOOL - England - PM Rishi Sunak has suffered a massive poll disaster at the…

15 hours ago

Russia, China and Iran Behind Pro-Palestine Pro-Hamas Protests

LOS ANGELES - USA - The West's enemies, Russia, China and Iran are also behind…

2 days ago

The Paradox of Socialists Championing Terrorist Group Hamas

LONDON - England - There is an ultimate paradox to the socialists and assorted Marxist…

2 days ago

“Biological Sex is a Fact” – NHS SHOCKER!

LONDON - England - The NHS has released shock news that biological sex is a…

3 days ago

This website uses cookies.