England Gripped By Terrible Drought

England’s South West and the Midlands have moved into official drought status even though they are all “under 18 feet of rain water”, the Environment Agency said.

The Midlands region covering Nottinghamshire, Leicestershire, Derbyshire, Staffordshire, West Midlands, Warwickshire, Shropshire, Worcestershire, Herefordshire and Gloucestershire are so far under water, that people can’t even find their hosepipes to ban them.

“It’s ridiculous. They told me I can’t use my hosepipe or water my plants, but I can’t actually find my garden anymore under the water and forget about running a bath, that floated away two days ago. This is certainly the wettest drought I’ve ever experienced,” Reginald Mucklestwat, 58, from the village of Twittleberry in Gloucestershire, told the BBC from a boat.

The media frenzy over the hosepipe ban has escalated with drought related news stories popping up all over England’s media every few seconds.

The BBC, ITV and Sky news all sent their reporters to the drought ridden areas wearing scuba diving equipment as more reports of drought were rolled out ad infinitum.