World

European Union Commission President Addresses EU Army Troops

NUREMBERG - Germany - On the eve of being crowned the next unelected President of the European Union, Kommandant von der Leyen addressed massed EU Army brigades and EU Soviet workers party officials.

The newly unelected EU Commission President and Kommandant of the EU Army today addressed assembled troops and workers of the European Union Socialist Communist State.

“I can come to no terms with a Brexit which everywhere, as its first act after gaining power is – not the pursuit of the enslavement of nations – but the liberation of the British sovereign nation from the undemocratic tyranny of our beloved EU, the asocial creatures concentrated in the Britisher Brexit party – and then the letting loose of these wild beasts like Nigel Farage, and Boris Johnson upon the terrified and helpless world about them….

“Brexitism turns flourishing countrysides into sinister wastes of democratic ruins; European Union Socialism transforms a Reich of destruction and misery into a healthy communistic State and a flourishing economic life of collectivist misery for all….

“Brexit planned a world revolution of democracy, sovereignty and German Mercedes workmen would be used but as cannon-fodder for Britisher Brexit imperialism. But we European Union Socialists do not wish that our EU military resources should be employed to impose by force on other peoples what those peoples themselves do not want. Our EU army does not swear on oath that it will with bloodshed extend the European Union Socialist idea over other peoples, but that it will with its own blood defend the European Union Socialist idea and thereby the German Reich, its security and freedom, from the aggression of other peoples…. The German people as soldiers is one of the best peoples in the world: It would have become a veritable ‘Fight to the Death Brigade’ for the bloody purposes of these international disseminators of democracy. We have removed this danger, through the European Union Socialist Revolution, from our own people and from other peoples….etc etc…

(CROWD APPLAUDS LOUDLY)

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