World

Thomas Markle Creates Banana Pizza to Commemorate Meghan Birth

ROSARITO BEACH - Mexico - Meghan Markle's estranged dad, Thomas Markle has come up with an amazing banana pizza to get back into her royal favour.

Estranged father of Meghan, Thomas Markle, has created a culinary delight to commemorate the upcoming birth of his royal grandchild which he will probably sadly never meet.

“I wanted to do something remarkable to commemorate the birth of my first royal grandchild,” Mr Markle told the National Enquirer magazine on Thursday.

According to Mr Markle, the idea popped into his head when he was watching the news and saw his daughter signing bananas at a prostitute centre in Bristol, England.

“I watched that on the news and I literally had tears flowing down my cheeks as I was eating a large pepperoni pizza at the time. Then, zing, an idea popped in my head. I could get back with my daughter by doing a good deed myself! Like create an original pizza that I can name the Meghan Banana Royale Supreme.”

The pizza was created and patented by Thomas Markle on the 10th February 2019, and is now really popular in the Rosarito Beach, Mexico area where Thomas rents a single room apartment for $70 a month.

“He’s hoping when Meghan sees the pizza, she will have a change of heart and bring him back into the royal family fold,” a family friend revealed.

The Meghan Banana Royale Supreme pizza recipe

1 x pizza base (25″ diameter)

1 gallon mashed banana and tomato puree sauce

20 x bananas peeled

5 x tins of anchovies

800 grams mozzarella cheese

1 x sharpie pen

Buy or make the pizza base dough, mash a bunch of bananas in a bowl, throw in some tomato puree, mix for two hours. Peel 20 bananas, eat some, slice the remaining bananas, drink a beer, watch the news about Meghan. Place cheese over pizza banana sauce, place banana slices and anchovies over cheese. Bake until bananas go black. Use the sharpie to write positive messages like ‘You are special’ and ‘Keep on sucking!’ around the baked pizza dough.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    Message From AI: “Dude, we’re pretty safe… but you humans are not!”

    DATA CENTRE - Unkown Location - With calls to curb AI and many calling it…

    3 days ago

    Chief Economists Expect Global Economy to Stabilise, but Fiscal Constraints, Living Costs and AI Investment Uncertainty Threaten Growth

    NEW YORK - USA - According to the World Economic Forum's Chief Economics Outlook, the…

    3 days ago

    Psychological Safety Week Returns with Warning Over Workplace “Talent Hushing”

    OXFORD - England - New research shows that more than 40% of UK employees may…

    3 days ago

    Who to Vote For During the Russian Election

    MOSCOW - Russia - Four years have passed since the illegal invasion of Ukraine. Russia…

    4 days ago

    3 Card Brag: Rules, hands and how a round plays out

    LONDON - England - If you love card games, you're going to love 3 Card…

    5 days ago

    Evil Labour Goblin John Healey Coming For More Tax

    SCUNTHORPE - England - Say goodbye to the last vestiges of your money as Labour's…

    6 days ago

    This website uses cookies.