World

That Was Quick! Prince Philip Gets NEW Motor Delivered Less than 24 Hours After Car Crash

SANDRINGHAM - Norfolk - Less than 24 hours after he crashed his Land Rover, Prince Philip has had a replacement vehicle delivered to the royal estate.

Prince Philip ‘s driving days don’t appear to be numbered just yet after a replacement vehicle was delivered to him – less than 24 hours after his horror smash.

The Cold War era tank was driven off the back of a lorry and into Sandringham at around Midday.

According to palace aides, when the Duke of Edinburgh saw the tank he squealed in abject glee, and farted.

“I’ve never seen the Duke so animated. He immediately plopped into the hatch above and commandeered the driver forward directly over one of the estate’s gardeners. The mess made over the rose bed was something awful, but Prince Philip quipped ‘That’s some quality fertilizer right there’ and his new toy moved on demolishing a shed in its path even shooting off a few rounds at some crows huddled in a tree.”

The Duke of Edinburgh, 97, is a keen military enthusiast and this new offering certainly knocks the socks off that puny Land Rover he was driving before.

One can only imagine the damage inflicted on the Duke’s sojourns to the local town, and his escapades on the Norfolk country roads.

Norfolk Police have however warned Prince Philip that if they see him driving the tank or shooting anything without wearing a seat belt he could be warned for his indiscretion.

“If we catch the Duke of Edinburgh in his new vehicle driving over other vehicles and going through houses without wearing a safety belt, we will first warn him, then if we catch him again not adhering to the road traffic safety rules we will be forced to give the palace a ticket of £45,” PC James Plodder told the local Norfolk Bugle newspaper.

ADVERTISE ON THE DAILY SQUIB

Email advertising (at) dailysquib.co.uk for all your advertising needs.
  • SUPPORT THE DAILY SQUIB
  • We fight for freedom, justice, satire, and coffee.
  • Reader support keeps the caffeine flowing.
  • Disqus Comments Loading...
    Share
    Published by

    Recent Posts

    LAMMY: Mandem to be Released Early

    LONDON - England - Labour Justice Secretary David Lammy is to release up to 6,000…

    1 day ago

    15th Five-Year Plan: What China’s Development Means to the World

    DALIAN - China - The World Economic Forum meeting is upbeat about China’s 15th Five-Year…

    2 days ago

    When Mother Earth Speaks Humans Still Do Not Listen

    CARACAS - Venezuela - A 7.5 magnitude earthquake is a small reminder that humans are…

    2 days ago

    Unelected Comrade Burnham Ushering New Era of Communism

    MANCHESTER - England - Unelected Comrade Burnham has destroyed the last vestiges of democracy as…

    4 days ago

    People’s Republic of Soviet Britain Urgent Bulletin Regarding Comrade Starmer

    MANCHESTER - England - Good news comrades. Comrade Starmer has been apprehended and made into…

    5 days ago

    “Comrades, they are coming for me on Monday! This is it!”

    UNDISCLOSED LOCATION - Comrade Starmer has revealed in a communique that a dastardly coup is…

    6 days ago

    This website uses cookies.